Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Election Night Boredom

Greetings Dear Readers, and Happy Election Day.

I am sitting here on my couch, watching the election coverage on 9 News, and I have come to a realization---2012 and the End of the World as we Know It has become so popular because we are all B-O-R-E-D. Our lives have become so boring, and predictable, and EASY, that people are FASCINATED by the idea that things might actually CHANGE. Sure, Obama promised Change in 2008, and there was change--Rye Bread and I got our Obama Bucks and we have changed our residence to a place where we can actually build a Bomb Shelter. The economy has changed to where there are many more MLIS graduates than there are jobs. And my beer taste has changed from Bud Light to Blue Moon. But--these are relatively mundane and are definitely not news-worthy. However, the change that is promised by the End of the World is much more provocative, as I will expand upon in the next paragraph.

When you are hungry, what do you do dear readers? I will tell you--you go to the refrigerator or the pantry and you get some food. If you are thirsty, you can turn on your faucet and receive water. If you need to go #2, you sit on your toilet and go, and then flush away your yesterday's lunch. Every day, day in and day out, our lives are so predictable and EASY. But what is going to happen when there is no more electricity and all the food in the fridge spoils? Or the water stops flowing and we can no longer flush the toilet or get a drink? What then dear readers? Well, then we will GET BACK TO NATURE! Living will not be so easy, so we will finally have to do something to survive. Hunting will no longer be a sport of rich white guys who just want a deer head for their man cave. Water gathering will be more difficult. And while wine may have helped me to get to these conclusions, wine will not be so easy to come by! And so, dear readers, I want you to prepare for the Great Adventure that is a short 2 years and 1 month and 12 days away. Please, start stockpiling wine, water, and freeze-dried food now if you have not already done so. The end is near, and we are about to have some interesting times.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Tomorrow's Harvest


Go to the above website to try a free sample of Tomorrow's Harvest. This company offers freeze dried food that is made to last longer and taste better.

I have already ordered my free sample and will report back on the findings. Our current survival food is about to expire - we will eat it at our survival food party with Yellow and spouse - and are on the lookout for new food to add to the box!

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Breaking News About Breaking Dawn!!!

Greetings, dear readers! I wanted to share my good news with you--the second installment of the Twilight movie Breaking Dawn will be released on November 28, 2012--JUST IN TIME TO SEE IT BEFORE WE HAVE TO TAKE COVER IN THE BOMB SHELTER!!! Thank goodness, I was so worried that I would not be around to see the final installment of the Edward-Bella-Jacob love triangle! Also, if I haven't mentioned it before, the entire Twilight series is on the Bomb Shelter Reading List. That is all.

Friday, June 25, 2010

Musings on Censorship

This is a topic that has been on my mind lately, dear readers, and I wanted to share my musings with you all. Censorship. It all began when my Bomb Shelter Life Mate Rye-Bread and I were playing with his new cellular telephone, which has a speech-to-text feature, and we (being 12 year olds in Mid-20 year old bodies) decided to see what the phone would say when we said a bunch of swears into it. Much to our disbelief-the phone censored our text, or changed the words to non-swears! Now, I love swears just as much as the next Survivalist Librarian (yes, I will pay the extra dollar to have the swears in my iTunes songs) and I can't believe that I can not text someone "You are a chickenshit head and I hope your ass catches on fire you dumb bitch!" because the phone will say "You are a ######## bed and I hope your ### snatches on fire do ######." Now, I must say, that is not nearly as satisfying. (Although, for the humor-factor, I am a proponent of substituting non-swears for swears, because it makes me giggle. i.e. "Bob Saget!" and "PISS!" For more information, search You Tube for the Tourette's Guy.)

I am running into this problem in my work-life as well...as a Librarian I am supposed to shun censorship in all forms, but as a Prison Librarian, I am expected to censor certain things while fighting to let other things into the library. Case in point-I can not allow certain pages of the survivalist manual When Technology Fails: A Manual for Self-Reliance, Sustainability, and Surviving the Long Emergency by Matthew Stein, (a necessary text for anyone who is going to survive 2012) because they portray in detail how to make stone tools, fire, hunting implements, and alcohol and that might cause problems in the facility. (Even though these people have no access to flint, sharpened sticks, or a distiller.) However, I CAN let in various and sundry Urban Fiction books where every other word is fuck, nigger, bitch, ho, shit, etc. and that portray the "hood life" in all its glory. Now, I have to let those books in, but when a library patron says any of those words out loud, or forgets that they are in prison and not da hood, I tell him or her "LANGUAGE!" or "That is not appropriate for the library." Personally, it doesn't bother me when people pepper their speech with swears, which is probably because I spent so much of my pre-Survivalist Librarian life working in restaurants which are notorious bastions of potty-mouthedness.

Now, I am sure you are wondering, dear readers, what does this have to do with the Bomb Shelter??? Well, let me tell you. When the World as we know it comes to an end in 2012 and the only texts that survive the Apocalypse are the ones that we select, that is a giant responsibility. Luckily, you have Librarians running the Bomb Shelter Collection Development so you can be assured of a well-rounded, unbiased collection of titles. (As opposed to the Southern Baptist Bomb Shelter Collection Policy--"Evolution??? Not in MY Bomb Shelter!") And we will not censor the swears because although it will be a new world order run by yours truly-Pink Panda and myself- we will still let you cuss like sailors if you should choose to do so. Not to mention, the Mythbusters have PROVEN that swearing ups one's tolerance for pain, and since we won't have anesthesia (unless we can get an anesthesiologist on board in the next 2 years) that is looking like the best option should we need to preform emergency surgery or C-sections, or limb removals. So, loyal followers I encourage you to go forth, and fight the good fight, and don't censor anyone, bitch!

Friday, May 21, 2010

Bomb Shelter Apartments

Awhile back, HappyYellow and I had the bright idea of creating bomb shelter apartments. This way people could have their own space while confined underground.

HappyYellow mentioned last night using an RFID tag for her dog to let the dog in and out of a doggy door. This got me to thinking we could easily implement something similar in the bomb shelter apartments...this could help keep people out who are just following a crowd to shelter or who shouldn't be let in.

I know that sounds kind of mean, but we can't let everyone in or we won't have enough supplies. Kind of like Noah's Ark. Plan ahead people!

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Another bomb shelter must-read!


You know you've made it when there is a Complete Idiot's Guide to you...Congratulations 2012! You have successfully infiltrated popular culture.

Now, I have not read this book myself but upon discovering it was around, I immediately requested it through my local library, and I heartily encourage all of you, dear followers, to request or purchase this book as well. As of this posting, this book is #15 on the popularity list on Amazon, so it appears that many people are jumping on the bandwagon.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010


As you may have heard, Dear Readers, the Dreaded Tornado has returned to this great country of ours. Many buildings have been destroyed and lives lost. The other day my bomb shelter life mate and I had to gather our pet children and take cover in the basement because we were under a tornado warning. The sirens were going off and everything. It was definitely a time when I wish that the bomb shelter was a little bit closer. Luckily, Pink Panda was on alert to come get us out from under the stairs should our house collapse from the whirling vortex of wind.

This episode has led me to this suggestion for you dear followers of the blog-everyone should add a mini-bomb shelter to their houses just in case disaster should take us all unaware and cause us to not be able to get to the official bomb shelter. Make sure you stock it with water, a weather radio, blankets, food, and a couch because you will get tired of sitting on the floor. This mini-bomb shelter will also come in handy in this globally-warming environment that will just lead to more and more violent weather until the end comes in 2012.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Norway doomsday seed vault hits 1/2 million mark

1400 seed banks and this another back up seed bank. I hadn't even thought of this on such a large scale. I wonder what else we have in "banks" in such a large scale?

I think having something like this on the smaller scale would be a good idea too. Seeds are something to add to the ever-growing bomb shelter list. We don't want these back ups to fail nor do we want a government (or anti-government? or aliens?) to be in control of the only source to grow additional food.

Source: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100311/ap_on_re_eu/eu_norway_doomsday_vault

Thursday, February 25, 2010

The newest bomb-shelter must-read!

Greetings gentle readers,
On Sunday I was asked to review a book for work and, while the information contained within it is not allowed in prison, it will definitelty give us law-abiding citizens a head start on preparing for the end of the world!!!!

The new required book for everyone's bomb shelter library is:

When Technology Fails (Revised & Expanded): A Manual for Self-Reliance, Sustainability, and Surviving the Long Emergency by Matthew Stein. ISBN 978-1933392455.

It can be purchased from Amazon.com for the low low price of $23.10. But really, can we put a price on preparedness???

Monday, February 15, 2010

It's the End of the World as We Know It

Sorry, I have had that song stuck in my head and now it's the title of the blog posting!

Also, I apologize for not posting in such a long time but we have had many changes in the past year as you may know with the addition of babypinkpanda. Somehow, that child takes up a lot of my time!

Babypinkpanda has got me to thinking though ... what will the world be like when she is older? Will she need to plan a bomb shelter or will we be living in one already?

Definitely time to plan and repack our emergency packs - if only for our basement and car for now!

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Ugh, earthquakes...

Greetings dear readers,
As you may have heard, recently there was a terrible earthquake in Haiti. My sympathies go out to the Haitians, since I too was in a earthquake in Missouri and I know how scary it was, and theirs was about 800 times worse than mine. Plus, since their society has pretty much completely collapsed, it is definitely not good.

But, here is a lesson that I want to share with everyone: when I blogged on 1/9/10 about the show that dramatized what would happen when there is a total collapse of civilization as we know it--THIS IS A REAL WORLD DEMONSTRATION!!!! I saw the news broadcasts of the Haitians fighting each other over the air-dropped supplies and looting shops. It was deja vu all over again! The notion that we are just thisclose to mass chaos is NOT JUST A THEORY!!!! What if this had happened in the US??? Do you seriously think that we would behave any better??? NO!!!! I know I would punch someone in the FACE to get some food to feed my family if there was a limited supply. We are no better than the Haitians, and this is something we should keep in mind when designing our bomb shelters--MAKE IT EARTHQUAKE PROOF!!!!!!!

Also, speaking of earthquakes, just so you know, there have been earthquakes in New Mexico AND YELLOWSTONE. And what is in Yellowstone? That's right, A SUPER VOLCANO! And there have been over 370 earthquakes in Yellowstone in the past week. Supposedly it is just "normal" but I don't believe it. Where else but a reawakening supervolcano will you get over 50 earthquakes a day? And if you don't believe me, check out our post about the Yellowstone Super Volcano--it is about 10,000 years OVERDUE for an eruption!!!!!

Well, loyal followers, I am going to sign off for the night and head back to the kitchen to finish the bottle of wine I started earlier because of crappy work drama. Enjoy your hopefully earthquake-free evening, and make sure you earthquake-proof your bomb shelter!

--Happy Yellow Jeep Girl

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Happy Birthday Wishes

Today is the Best Mom's birthday and we here at the Survival of the Librarians Headquarters would like to wish her a very happy birthday!

New show on the History Channel

Greetings Dear Readers,
Pink Panda and I would like to apologize for the lack of postings as of late, and it is our New Year's Resolution to remedy that. That being said, I wanted to share with you all a new show on TV that I have discovered. It is called After Armageddon and it is basically a show that follows some well-meaning but seriously under-prepared people for two hours. When any show has to have the disclaimer "This is NOT a real emergency" you know it is going to be awesome! But it brings up some interesting points that should be remembered by everyone who is going to survive 2012. If you have not seen this show, the premise is that there is a global flu pandemic and many people have died, but there are a few who have survived. The show follows one fictional family on their journey from LA to Idaho during the mass chaos and anarchy that follows the collapse of society.

Because I was taking a nap after a grueling day at work, I did not catch the beginning of the show but I woke up when I heard Armageddon-talk. The fictional family did many things wrong during the early stages of this mass human extinction including not having a bomb shelter ready and not leaving at the first signs of trouble. Because they waited, they were forced to scavenge supplies from the flu victims, avoid armed gangs who had taken over the roads, and drag a dead guy out of his Dodge Durango, only to have it fall victim to better-prepared scavengers who drained the gas tank by poking a hole in it. However, if these people had followed the Simple Survival of the Librarian Rules of Survival, they would have been fine. So, loyal followers, I recommend printing this list out and keeping it in hard copy, just in case the Internet goes down and you can no longer access our wisdom.

Simple Survival of the Librarians Rules of Survival
1. Do NOT wait until the shit has hit the fan to get out of Dodge. Start making your bomb shelter now, and keep it well-stocked so that you can leave at the first sign of trouble, nay, before the first sign of trouble. If you wait, you will be sorry.

2. Get a 4 wheel drive vehicle and learn to 4-wheel off road. Do not take main roads when planning your escape because they will be nearly impassible if it is not possible to get out of town before the disaster. I am not talking some namby-pamby Chevy Suburban. You will need a Jeep or a Range Rover. Also, dirt bikes or ATV's would work in a pinch. You may want to have both, depending on the terrain you need to cross. Also very important is a full-size spare, extra windshield washer fluid, oil, anti-freeze and a winch (or tow rope if traveling with a group.)

3. Stock up on water. This is very important. You can only go three days without water, but you can go 30 days without food. Also, stock up on gasoline because all our wonderful technology does not run without gasoline. Get a bunch of freeze dried and non-perishable food too because when the electricity is off, the refrigerator will not be working. You will also want to get lots of toilet paper. Trust me.

4. Get a gun, or guns, and tons of ammo. Go to the shooting range and learn to use your gun. This is necessary for personal protection as well as for hunting purposes so you can have some fresh meat to add to your dried peas.

5. Plan your bomb-shelter group well in advance of any disaster and make a group getaway plan. This will keep you from having to travel alone and there is safety in numbers. People will be more likely to attack and take advantage of a group of three than a group of ten.

6. Start camping now, so that you can get used to living outside and not taking showers for a while. Also, camping supplies can come in handy when there is no society on which to rely. Another outdoors-y thing that is good to learn is what kind of plants you can eat in the wild. Go to Barnes and Noble or Amazon.com and buy a handy giude that you can keep with you.

I am sure that Pink Panda will have more to add to this list but for now that is all. Good night and good luck.