New show on the History Channel

Greetings Dear Readers,
Pink Panda and I would like to apologize for the lack of postings as of late, and it is our New Year's Resolution to remedy that. That being said, I wanted to share with you all a new show on TV that I have discovered. It is called After Armageddon and it is basically a show that follows some well-meaning but seriously under-prepared people for two hours. When any show has to have the disclaimer "This is NOT a real emergency" you know it is going to be awesome! But it brings up some interesting points that should be remembered by everyone who is going to survive 2012. If you have not seen this show, the premise is that there is a global flu pandemic and many people have died, but there are a few who have survived. The show follows one fictional family on their journey from LA to Idaho during the mass chaos and anarchy that follows the collapse of society.

Because I was taking a nap after a grueling day at work, I did not catch the beginning of the show but I woke up when I heard Armageddon-talk. The fictional family did many things wrong during the early stages of this mass human extinction including not having a bomb shelter ready and not leaving at the first signs of trouble. Because they waited, they were forced to scavenge supplies from the flu victims, avoid armed gangs who had taken over the roads, and drag a dead guy out of his Dodge Durango, only to have it fall victim to better-prepared scavengers who drained the gas tank by poking a hole in it. However, if these people had followed the Simple Survival of the Librarian Rules of Survival, they would have been fine. So, loyal followers, I recommend printing this list out and keeping it in hard copy, just in case the Internet goes down and you can no longer access our wisdom.

Simple Survival of the Librarians Rules of Survival
1. Do NOT wait until the shit has hit the fan to get out of Dodge. Start making your bomb shelter now, and keep it well-stocked so that you can leave at the first sign of trouble, nay, before the first sign of trouble. If you wait, you will be sorry.

2. Get a 4 wheel drive vehicle and learn to 4-wheel off road. Do not take main roads when planning your escape because they will be nearly impassible if it is not possible to get out of town before the disaster. I am not talking some namby-pamby Chevy Suburban. You will need a Jeep or a Range Rover. Also, dirt bikes or ATV's would work in a pinch. You may want to have both, depending on the terrain you need to cross. Also very important is a full-size spare, extra windshield washer fluid, oil, anti-freeze and a winch (or tow rope if traveling with a group.)

3. Stock up on water. This is very important. You can only go three days without water, but you can go 30 days without food. Also, stock up on gasoline because all our wonderful technology does not run without gasoline. Get a bunch of freeze dried and non-perishable food too because when the electricity is off, the refrigerator will not be working. You will also want to get lots of toilet paper. Trust me.

4. Get a gun, or guns, and tons of ammo. Go to the shooting range and learn to use your gun. This is necessary for personal protection as well as for hunting purposes so you can have some fresh meat to add to your dried peas.

5. Plan your bomb-shelter group well in advance of any disaster and make a group getaway plan. This will keep you from having to travel alone and there is safety in numbers. People will be more likely to attack and take advantage of a group of three than a group of ten.

6. Start camping now, so that you can get used to living outside and not taking showers for a while. Also, camping supplies can come in handy when there is no society on which to rely. Another outdoors-y thing that is good to learn is what kind of plants you can eat in the wild. Go to Barnes and Noble or Amazon.com and buy a handy giude that you can keep with you.

I am sure that Pink Panda will have more to add to this list but for now that is all. Good night and good luck.

More movie follow-up thoughts

So after having End of the World dreams all night last night, I just can't get this movie out of my head and I wanted to share some more insights with you all dear readers.

One character in the movie is named Charlie, and he is the crazy guy that lives in Yellowstone and broadcasts on AM radio about the coming of the end times while eating pickles and beer. There is one scene between Charlie and the main character played by John Cusack (sp?) where John needs to get the map that Charlie has of where the ships are hiding. Charlie tells him "The map is in the motor home on the shelf between Conspiracies...and...Marilyn Monroe! You know, the Dewey Decimal System!!!" Now, who but LIBRARIANS know the Dewey Decimal System??? And who are the keepers and organizers of information in this crazy world? LIBRARIANS!!! AND, who is going to survive the End of the World? That's right--LIBRARIANS!!! Plus, I LOVE pickles and beer! The coincidences are mind-boggling!

Now, speaking of coincidences-this one was brought up by our resident bomb shelter nurse, my very own Best Mom! She noticed another similarity between the names of the people in the movie and the names of our bomb shelter dwellers--the actress Amanda Peet is a combination of AMANDA and her bomb shelter life-mate Peeeeeeeeeeete! I could hardly believe it when I realized that this was true and am very thankful to the Best Mom for pointing that out. It is yet more proof that this movie is the harbinger of what is to come!

2012 is here...

In a theater near you!

Tonight my bomb shelter life-mate and I had a hot date night and we decided to go see the movie 2012 since that is what we are all about here. While it will still take some time for me to fully process the 3 hour movie (As Rye-Bread noted "It's the end of the world, it's going to take a while") I wanted to blog a little bit about my first impressions.

The first thing that is eerily similar to real life with the movie 2012 is the fact that one of the main characters is a black man named Adrian. I was once a black man during Mock Trial in high school, and my name ALSO happens to be Adrienne, which is the correct spelling, but what are you going to do. Secondly, another main character in the movie is played by Amanda Peet. Interestingly, Pink Panda's alter ego is AMANDA. Coincidence? I think not. Oh, and there is a black President. And currently WE HAVE A BLACK PRESIDENT, whose term ENDS IN 2012!!! Holy crap!

Now, to get to the plot of the movie. Airplanes play a big part in the plot because they are what the main characters use to get out of danger and get to the giant arks in China. Now, I am SOOOOO glad that we have two pilots in our bomb shelter retinue so that we can commandeer planes should we need to abandon bomb shelter and I urge you, dear readers, to also recruit a pilot for your shelter. You will be glad you did.

One thing that I have noticed from all the End of the World as we Know It movies is the underlying Christian theme. Knowing had the children go on a giant spaceship to the Garden of Eden. 2012 had everyone getting on giant arks. There was even a scene of 2 elephants and 2 giraffes being airlifted to China for the arks. Now I don't know if the filmmakers are urging everyone to turn back to religion in these end times or if it's just a coincidence but I am going to cover my butt with the immortal words of Homer Simpson: "Jesus, Allah, Buddha I love you all!"

Choose How the World Will End

http://sdn.slate.com/features/endofamerica/default.htm
Received via an email and absolutely love it!

"Each day seems to bring new horrific possibilities as to how America and its inhabitants will be destroyed. But instead of worrying (will it be swine flu or robots?), why not decide for yourself with the very clever, tongue-in-cheek Choose Your Own Apocalypse?"

From this site, you will learn of even more possibilities that can bring on the end times!

Definitely a Yes!

From the reading article, we definitely need to start storing water! :)

A quote I came across today and do plan to implement the next time I run into one of these guys:

Greenpeace employee to college girl: Hey! Are you pro-environment?
College girl: No, sorry, post-apocalyptic.

Happy Birthday Earth!

Now as you know, dear readers, today is Earth Day, or, the Earth's Birthday. In honor of the earth turning 4,500,734,132 years old (or 6,024 if you are a Jehovah's Witness Creationist) we here at the Survival of the Librarians co-headquarters wanted to share an interesting article from MSN, your most trusted news source besides The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.

This article that I found discusses what the earth will look like in 2100 if we do not stop the dreaded GLOBAL WARMING!!! Now, the fact that we will have a completely new world order coming in 2012 does not seem to matter to this author, but it is always good to keep up with the latest discussions in the zeitgeist of the end of the world.

The link: http://lifestyle.msn.com/your-life/living-green/staticslideshowgreenchan.aspx?cp-documentid=18995580&GT1=34129

Bomb Shelter Shopping List Suggestion

So as you may have heard, dear readers, my bomb shelter life-mate Rye-Bread and I have added a new furry four-legged to our pack named Bear. Now, don't let the name fool you, Bear is actually a very sweet 6 year old chocolate lab that we adopted from the Dumb Friends League and he will be joining us in the bomb shelter. Pink Panda was very sweet and as a "welcome to the bomb shelter family" present, she bought Bear some dog cookies from 3 Dog Bakery. Now if you have not experienced 3 Dog Bakery's delightful products (and they are made with completely natural and healthy ingredients, because why would you feed your dog something you couldn't eat?) I highly recommend them. The cookies are DELICIOUS! AND AS AN ADDED BONUS YOU CAN EAT THEM IF YOU ARE RUNNING LOW ON BOMB SHELTER FOOD!!! I apologize for the shouting, but this opens a whole new horizon for food possibilities, especially if you do not want to eat the sodium- and preservative-packed SPAM. Here is a link to their website, just in case you are not near a location: https://www.threedog.com/Default.aspx