Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Election Night Boredom

Greetings Dear Readers, and Happy Election Day.

I am sitting here on my couch, watching the election coverage on 9 News, and I have come to a realization---2012 and the End of the World as we Know It has become so popular because we are all B-O-R-E-D. Our lives have become so boring, and predictable, and EASY, that people are FASCINATED by the idea that things might actually CHANGE. Sure, Obama promised Change in 2008, and there was change--Rye Bread and I got our Obama Bucks and we have changed our residence to a place where we can actually build a Bomb Shelter. The economy has changed to where there are many more MLIS graduates than there are jobs. And my beer taste has changed from Bud Light to Blue Moon. But--these are relatively mundane and are definitely not news-worthy. However, the change that is promised by the End of the World is much more provocative, as I will expand upon in the next paragraph.

When you are hungry, what do you do dear readers? I will tell you--you go to the refrigerator or the pantry and you get some food. If you are thirsty, you can turn on your faucet and receive water. If you need to go #2, you sit on your toilet and go, and then flush away your yesterday's lunch. Every day, day in and day out, our lives are so predictable and EASY. But what is going to happen when there is no more electricity and all the food in the fridge spoils? Or the water stops flowing and we can no longer flush the toilet or get a drink? What then dear readers? Well, then we will GET BACK TO NATURE! Living will not be so easy, so we will finally have to do something to survive. Hunting will no longer be a sport of rich white guys who just want a deer head for their man cave. Water gathering will be more difficult. And while wine may have helped me to get to these conclusions, wine will not be so easy to come by! And so, dear readers, I want you to prepare for the Great Adventure that is a short 2 years and 1 month and 12 days away. Please, start stockpiling wine, water, and freeze-dried food now if you have not already done so. The end is near, and we are about to have some interesting times.

1 comment:

Bobina said...

Ahem. Wyomingites are going to rock the apocalypse (as long as Yellowstone isn't the cause of it).