Thursday, December 22, 2011

T-minus less than one year!

Greetings dear readers! Happy Yellow Jeep Girl coming to you from the tiny fortified mountain town of Buena Vista. As you may have noticed, yesterday marked the one year anniversary until the end of the world as we know it. If you have not yet begun to make final preparations for your bomb shelter, now is t he time to get a move on. If you will be bringing children into your bomb selter, as many of our friends will be doing, I recommend stocking up on breast milk because you never know what sort of contaminants may be released into the environment and thus absorbed into our bodies.

On a happy note, congratulations to all our bomb shelter friends who will be bringing the next generation intothe new world as we know it and we look forward to meeting your little bundles of joy in June.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Tim Tebow: Harbinger of the End of the World?

Howdy, loyal blog followers! Happy Yellow Jeep Girl here with all the latest news you can use for the end of the world count down! I hope you all are making the final adjustments to your bomb shelters as we are thisclose to the 365 day count down.

As many of you may have heard and or seen, the Denver Broncos football team has a new quarterback: Beloved of Jesus TIM Tebow. For the past week, Beloved of Jesus Tim Tebow, or Tebow for short, has been winning games in the very last possible moments with the closest possible scores allowed in football. After all of his wins, Tebow then drops to one knee and offers prayers of gratitude to the Christian god. Lately, I have been noticing on my friends' Facebook walls that the near-misses have been causing then chest pain and stress. This is a very interesting phenomenon, and one that I think we should all be wary of, as I will explain.

The bible states that at the end of the world, the faithful will be taken up to heaven and the rest of the not as faithful will be left down here to duke it out with Satan and his hoards of demons. Similarly, the World Health Organization states that too much stress can induce heart attacks. Ergo, Beloved of Jesus Tim Tebow's come from behind last minute wins are not the result of "good" football playing and strategy but rather have been designed by Jesus to speed the process of getting the faithful into heaven.

Now, you may ask if I am insinuating that only Denver Bronco fans are worthy of eternal salvation, and the short answer is yes. Few teams fans have suffered more than we have and the bible says those that are last on earth will be first in the kingdom of heaven. Furthermore, in the final book of the Maze Runner trilogy The Death Cure by James Dashner features Denver as the promised land for the people escaping from the bad guys. Most importantly, the Rocky Mountain region is where the capital is located in the Hunger Games trilogy by Suzanne Collins. If.Denver were not the chosen city, then why all these "coincidences"??

In conclusion, dear readers, be glad that you live in Colorado and if you don't, get here as fast as you can because we don't have much time to waste.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Interesting take on 2012 from public television and Peace Jam

Greetings, loyal followers! Happy Yellow Jeep Girl here to let you know about a very interesting documentary I just watched on public television. It was produced by Peace Jam and the moral of the movie is that 2012 is not going to be the Armageddon/End of the World as we Know it that Hollywood would have us to believe but rather is going to be he beginning of a new era that has more of a gender duality to it, rather than the male-centered era we are in now. This documentary also featured numerous Nobel Laureates and scientists, and librarians always like to have reliable sources, and sources don't get much more reliable than the Dalai Lama.

I encourage all of you, dear readers, to view this documentary for yourselves. I am very intrigued by the idea that the world is not going to end in 2012, but I am going to keep my bomb shelter stocked just in case.

Saturday, September 3, 2011

What do we have in common with Glen Beck?!?

Glen Beck, echoing the beliefs of his Mormon Church, has often urged his "followers" to stockpile food since he believes that a disruption to the food supply will happen sometime. He also says that Hurricane Irene is a "blessing from God" and warning to those who haven't followed his advice.

I'm all for stockpiling food but using scare tactics, as is Beck's custom, is a bit over the top. There are other reasons I would stockpile food including (but not limited to):

  • the failing economy
  • China's rise to power
  • the number of natural disasters
  • the increase in prices of food
  • more genetically modified foods on the market
Can you think of more?

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Urban Foraging

Here's a must to add to our kindle. Granted, this depends on when and if we can come out of our bomb shelter.

Which, for me at least, reinforces that we need to have a greenhouse to grow fresh vegetables and fruits. Canned fruits and vegetables are a good back-up, but you can't beat fresh food!

Friday, May 20, 2011

1 day until the Rapture?

Greetings loyal followers! It's Happy Yellow Jeep Girl here on this possible next to last day on the World As We Know It. As many of you may have heard, there is a Christian radio station in California that is predicting that the Rapture will come tomorrow at 7pm local time. Now, I am interpreting this to mean that the Rapture will happen 24 different times so theoretically one could hop on an airplane and fly east really fast and avoid the whole thing altogether.

I was talking with one of our fellow bomb shelter homies YZDTRider who said "what the heck is a Rapture?" After I explained it to him, he laughed and said "Well I guess you're definitely not going if you don't even know what it is."

Personally, I am still putting my money on the Target date of 12/21/12. This guy who is making the prediction has already gotten it wrong in 1994. Plus, he is in his 80's, so it's entirety possible that he is predicting his own personal demise haha. But, dear readers, we will know for sure in T-minus 36 hours.

Friday, March 11, 2011

Alternatives to Toilet Paper?!

I believe that I will be taking many paper books into our bomb shelter as well, Happy Yellow!

But you got me thinking. There is no way I want to use a book as toilet paper. After doing some research, I found that most countries do not even use toilet paper! Therefor, there are alternatives out there that we can use or find instead of our precious book resources!

We can use cloth, leaves (I hear banana leaves work quite nicely but since we are not near banana trees, I'm sure others will do), moss, water, corncobs (seen this method on the baby movie), and even in a pinch, your hand can work (right hand/left hand taboo). When my grandparents had an outhouse (back in the day), they used the Sears Catalog. Maybe we can stock up on those too!

I do have to say that I will be packing some toilet paper but eventually we will run out. The average American uses 54 rolls of toilet paper a year! Imagine all of the storage space that could be used for something else. Hmmm...maybe we won't pack as much toilet paper?