Thursday, December 22, 2011

T-minus less than one year!

Greetings dear readers! Happy Yellow Jeep Girl coming to you from the tiny fortified mountain town of Buena Vista. As you may have noticed, yesterday marked the one year anniversary until the end of the world as we know it. If you have not yet begun to make final preparations for your bomb shelter, now is t he time to get a move on. If you will be bringing children into your bomb selter, as many of our friends will be doing, I recommend stocking up on breast milk because you never know what sort of contaminants may be released into the environment and thus absorbed into our bodies.

On a happy note, congratulations to all our bomb shelter friends who will be bringing the next generation intothe new world as we know it and we look forward to meeting your little bundles of joy in June.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Tim Tebow: Harbinger of the End of the World?

Howdy, loyal blog followers! Happy Yellow Jeep Girl here with all the latest news you can use for the end of the world count down! I hope you all are making the final adjustments to your bomb shelters as we are thisclose to the 365 day count down.

As many of you may have heard and or seen, the Denver Broncos football team has a new quarterback: Beloved of Jesus TIM Tebow. For the past week, Beloved of Jesus Tim Tebow, or Tebow for short, has been winning games in the very last possible moments with the closest possible scores allowed in football. After all of his wins, Tebow then drops to one knee and offers prayers of gratitude to the Christian god. Lately, I have been noticing on my friends' Facebook walls that the near-misses have been causing then chest pain and stress. This is a very interesting phenomenon, and one that I think we should all be wary of, as I will explain.

The bible states that at the end of the world, the faithful will be taken up to heaven and the rest of the not as faithful will be left down here to duke it out with Satan and his hoards of demons. Similarly, the World Health Organization states that too much stress can induce heart attacks. Ergo, Beloved of Jesus Tim Tebow's come from behind last minute wins are not the result of "good" football playing and strategy but rather have been designed by Jesus to speed the process of getting the faithful into heaven.

Now, you may ask if I am insinuating that only Denver Bronco fans are worthy of eternal salvation, and the short answer is yes. Few teams fans have suffered more than we have and the bible says those that are last on earth will be first in the kingdom of heaven. Furthermore, in the final book of the Maze Runner trilogy The Death Cure by James Dashner features Denver as the promised land for the people escaping from the bad guys. Most importantly, the Rocky Mountain region is where the capital is located in the Hunger Games trilogy by Suzanne Collins. If.Denver were not the chosen city, then why all these "coincidences"??

In conclusion, dear readers, be glad that you live in Colorado and if you don't, get here as fast as you can because we don't have much time to waste.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Interesting take on 2012 from public television and Peace Jam

http://www.2012thetruemayanprophecy.com/

Greetings, loyal followers! Happy Yellow Jeep Girl here to let you know about a very interesting documentary I just watched on public television. It was produced by Peace Jam and the moral of the movie is that 2012 is not going to be the Armageddon/End of the World as we Know it that Hollywood would have us to believe but rather is going to be he beginning of a new era that has more of a gender duality to it, rather than the male-centered era we are in now. This documentary also featured numerous Nobel Laureates and scientists, and librarians always like to have reliable sources, and sources don't get much more reliable than the Dalai Lama.

I encourage all of you, dear readers, to view this documentary for yourselves. I am very intrigued by the idea that the world is not going to end in 2012, but I am going to keep my bomb shelter stocked just in case.

Saturday, September 3, 2011

What do we have in common with Glen Beck?!?

Glen Beck, echoing the beliefs of his Mormon Church, has often urged his "followers" to stockpile food since he believes that a disruption to the food supply will happen sometime. He also says that Hurricane Irene is a "blessing from God" and warning to those who haven't followed his advice.

I'm all for stockpiling food but using scare tactics, as is Beck's custom, is a bit over the top. There are other reasons I would stockpile food including (but not limited to):

  • the failing economy
  • China's rise to power
  • the number of natural disasters
  • the increase in prices of food
  • more genetically modified foods on the market
Can you think of more?

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Urban Foraging

http://www.amazon.com/URBAN-FORAGING-Finding-eating-plants/dp/1450707513

Here's a must to add to our kindle. Granted, this depends on when and if we can come out of our bomb shelter.

Which, for me at least, reinforces that we need to have a greenhouse to grow fresh vegetables and fruits. Canned fruits and vegetables are a good back-up, but you can't beat fresh food!

Friday, May 20, 2011

1 day until the Rapture?

Greetings loyal followers! It's Happy Yellow Jeep Girl here on this possible next to last day on the World As We Know It. As many of you may have heard, there is a Christian radio station in California that is predicting that the Rapture will come tomorrow at 7pm local time. Now, I am interpreting this to mean that the Rapture will happen 24 different times so theoretically one could hop on an airplane and fly east really fast and avoid the whole thing altogether.

I was talking with one of our fellow bomb shelter homies YZDTRider who said "what the heck is a Rapture?" After I explained it to him, he laughed and said "Well I guess you're definitely not going if you don't even know what it is."

Personally, I am still putting my money on the Target date of 12/21/12. This guy who is making the prediction has already gotten it wrong in 1994. Plus, he is in his 80's, so it's entirety possible that he is predicting his own personal demise haha. But, dear readers, we will know for sure in T-minus 36 hours.

Friday, March 11, 2011

Alternatives to Toilet Paper?!

I believe that I will be taking many paper books into our bomb shelter as well, Happy Yellow!

But you got me thinking. There is no way I want to use a book as toilet paper. After doing some research, I found that most countries do not even use toilet paper! Therefor, there are alternatives out there that we can use or find instead of our precious book resources!

We can use cloth, leaves (I hear banana leaves work quite nicely but since we are not near banana trees, I'm sure others will do), moss, water, corncobs (seen this method on the baby movie), and even in a pinch, your hand can work (right hand/left hand taboo). When my grandparents had an outhouse (back in the day), they used the Sears Catalog. Maybe we can stock up on those too!

I do have to say that I will be packing some toilet paper but eventually we will run out. The average American uses 54 rolls of toilet paper a year! Imagine all of the storage space that could be used for something else. Hmmm...maybe we won't pack as much toilet paper?

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

eBooks and You-Thoughts from the Bomb Shelter

Good evening readers! It is your friendly survivalist librarian, coming to you from somewhere under ground, testing out the bomb shelter. Time is ticking away, so if you have not yet begun your preparations, loyal followers, I urge you to do so post haste!

I am writing to you tonight because there has been something weighing heavily on my mind ever since I have returned from a Survival Librarian Conference in Colorado's beautiful Western Slope. It is the issue of an emerging technology that has been taking the literary world by storm. That technology is the electronic book, or eBook. Now, dear readers, I am sure that you have heard about eBooks (unless you have been living in your bomb shelter for the past year) and you probably have some questions. Well, I am glad you have turned to us, because Pink Panda and I are reliable sources of information for everything library- and bomb shelter-related. Recently, eBooks have become very popular, with many different devices such as the Kindle from Amazon.com, the Kobo from Borders, and the nook from Barnes and Noble. I attended an informational presentation at the Conference, and here are my thoughts:

1. eBook readers will be very useful for bringing thousands of works of literature into the bomb shelter. I have heard that an eBook reader can hold 1,500 titles, and the battery can last for a month. The good thing about having the eBook reader in the bomb shelter is that there will be no WiFi signal to drain the battery, but the bad thing is that there will be no WiFi signal with which to buy more books once you have read all the books.

2. LCD screen readers (nook from Barnes and Noble) can be read in the dark because they have a backlit screen. This will be helpful for those times where we need to conserve the bomb shelter energy, or when our bomb shelter lifemates are trying to sleep, but we just can't put down the book we are reading because it is so engrossing.

3. The font size on eBook readers can be enlarged, which is good in case our glasses break, like that guy on the Twilight Zone who just wanted to be the only guy in the world so he could read whenever he wanted, but then he broke his glasses so he couldn't see the words on the pages.

Despite all these pros for eBook readers, I want to caution you loyal followers, that this can not be the sole means of reading materials with which you stock your bomb shelter. Obviously, eBook readers run on rechargable batteries, but those batteries eventually run down so you will need some sort of electrical generator or solar panel to recharge it. And you might need that energy for other things, like cooking food. Also, if you depend on your local public library to obtain your eBooks, you should know that there are limits on how long the file can be accessed. If it takes you longer than 21 days to get to the end of World Without Us, you will be out of luck because the library website will probably be pulverized by the world ending. Along those same lines, beware of magnetic waves rendering your eBook reader useless if it is not stored properly.

Personally, in our Bomb Shelter I will rely heavily on building a print collection of reading material, because print is reliable, comforting, familiar and not prone to electronic mishaps. Also, depending on how the end of the world comes about, there is no guarantee that your eBook reader will even work again once we can re-emerge. Print books are also multi-functional, as they can be used for kindling and toilet paper, if the situation ever becomes that dire. I am interested to see what your plans are, dedicated followers. Will you be a purist with only print materials, a modern technologist with only eBooks, or a combination of the two?

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

What to Wear to the End of the World

Greetings Dear Readers,
It's no surprise that I do things mainly for the cute outfits. Snowboarding, working out, running, tennis...I probably wouldn't do them if I didn't get to buy a new outfit to "motivate" me. (Ask my Bomb Shelter Life Mate Rye-Bread. He always calls me out on it. To which I reply- :-P) Now it has come to my attention that World Renowned Survivalist (and HOTT Brit) Bear Grylls has a website that sells Survival Clothing! Here is the link:

http://www.us.beargryllsstore.com/

Our loyal followers know that, as librarians, Pink Panda and I firmly believe in presenting you with reliable resources. For survival, it doesn't get more reliable than Bear Grylls. In addition to having climbed Mt. Everest at age TWENTY THREE, he has served in the UK Special Forces and has his own TV show. AND he has a British accent, which makes EVERYTHING he says the truth. Bear Grylls' store also has children's survival clothes, which will come in handy as we are re-populating the Earth. So go, fellow survivalists, and stock up on survival clothing. Since we do not have fur, feathers, or scales, we will need all the help we can get!

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Basic Survival

I have been reading a lot of post-Apocalyptic books lately. Mostly because I enjoy them. But I believe that there are a lot of valuable lessons in these books such as how long man-made items will last. Which reminds me of a book I read awhile ago - non-fiction, even!

I'm going to suggest you read, World Without Us. The author of this book talks to experts and then explains how fast man-made items will break down. In our bomb shelters, we can store many items but when we eventually emerge, we can expect not to have a lot of things that we take for granted now.

Such as cars - how long is that gas going to be good? How long are the rubber tires going to last?

Such as fresh water - how long will the reservoirs continue to work and push water our way?

Such as food - canned items can last for awhile. But we will really need to start planting and growing things on our own. And how long will seeds last in their packets?

Such as fresh meat. How long can domesticated animals who rely on humans for most things last in the wild? If they do return to the wild, who's going to hunt and butcher them so we have a meat source?

I could go on and on.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Bart's Comet

Hello again, dear followers. As you may know, I am a huge fan of the TV show The Simpsons. I believe it is a witty social commentary that rips its plots directly from the headlines. Case in point--tonight's episode was "Bart's Comet," an episode where Bart discovers a comet that turns out to be headed RIGHT TOWARDS SPRINGFIELD! Naturally, mass panic ensues with all the Springfieldians trying to find shelter to survive the impact. Nobody planned ahead except for the Simpson family's resourceful neighbor Flanders, who also was kind enough to include enough supplies for the Simpson family to join his in the bomb shelter. Unfortunately, the entire town comes knocking on the door and the Super Christian Flanders ends up surrendering his place in the bomb shelter for the greater good of his neighbors. Luckily, the comet is thwarted by the massive layer of pollution above Springfield and nobody ends up being incinerated.

It is very interesting that this episode came out in 1995--SIXTEEN years ago--but its messages are timeless. You should build your bomb shelter with extra space and supplies because undoubtedly, there will be some unprepared neighbors who will want to mooch off of your preparedness. Of course, to avoid that hassle, DON'T TELL YOUR NEIGHBORS WHERE YOUR BOMB SHELTER IS LOCATED. The second point is that the End of the World as we Know It will come from an asteroid. Thanks to loyal follower Dog Mama for sharing this story:
http://specials.msn.com/A-List/Lifestyle/Will-asteroid-hit-Earth.aspx?cp-documentid=27611566

Now, the above article is all about the results for a keyword search "Will asteroid hit Earth," the answer is (as we all know) a resounding YES! The 2,390,000 results don't lie. In closing, gentle followers, I implore you to visit the website posted by Pink Panda in the previous post and prepare for the coming destruction via wayward heavenly body.

READYColorado

On my way to work today, I noticed an advertisement on the side of the bus asking if I was ready for a disaster.

Honestly, I have to say at this point, I am not. But even with planning and storing necessary items, is anyone every really for a disaster?

Check out the site though, since I think it could be helpful overall. There are some tools available through the site that allow you to create your own profile to track your readiness.

http://www.readycolorado.com/

Even if we are never emotionally ready for a disaster, we can at least be physically ready.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Bristol Palin-Harbinger of the Apocalypse?

Greetings Dear Readers,
While watching Chelsea Lately tonight, I was informed that Bristol Palin has a memoir in the works. I was intrigued to find out that Palin is only 20 years old. Now, in my experience, memoirs are written by people who have lived long, illustrious lives and have had many accomplishments. Since Bristol Palin has done neither of those things, it got me to wondering why in the world she would need to write a memoir. Then-it dawned on me! SHE NEEDED TO WRITE A MEMOIR BECAUSE THE WORLD IS ENDING!!!

Now, you might be thinking, "Happy Yellow Jeep Girl, do not be a hater on Bristol Palin, she has had many accomplishments in life including losing on Dancing with the Stars, having a teen pregnancy and subsequent child out of wedlock, and having a mom who completed half a term as Governor of Alaska! She is not just trying to capitalize on her fame before it is too late!" For Exhibit B, I give you Justin Bieber. Here is another extremely young person (12 years old, last time I looked at him) who has a memoir in bookstores. Again, what has Justin Bieber accomplished, besides making it popular to blow dry your hair straight forward into your eyes and singing songs that consist of the lyrics "Baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby!" My educated guess is that he is selling his "life story" to help with the provisioning of his bomb shelter, since he has not been on this Earth long enough to save up much money.

Loyal followers, these two celebrity teenage memoirs are not isolated incidents!!! According to the website The Huffington Post (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/08/04/justin-biebers-memoir-and_n_669215.html#slide_image) there are at least NINE OTHER MEMOIRS BY PEOPLE UNDER 25!!! Coincidence? I think not!

Monday, February 7, 2011

End of the world in 2011 instead? HMMMMM!!!

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/40885541/ns/us_news-life/?gt1=43001

Once again, we have been remiss in updating the blog because we have been frantically stocking our bomb shelters. Thanks to dedicated follower Dog Mama, it has been brought to our attention that we may have even LESS time than we thought. And by less time, I mean we might only have until MAY! YIKES! Proponents of the May 2011 theory include Marie Exley, a Colorado Springs Native and Army veteran, who left her home to travel the country to spread the news. AND, EVEN WORSE!!!, when the day comes, if we are not swept into the glorious realm of Heaven, that means we HAVE NOT BEEN SAVED! But, luckily we will only have to endure the period of torment for 5 months, because October will be the End of Time.

Personally, I am still going with 12/21/12 as the end of the world for two reasons:

1. 12/21/12 is more fun to type than 5/21/11. Let's keep it simple people.
2. The Mayans were around long before the Christians (whose Bible wasn't even written by the people who lived with Jesus) and they actually did all the work to create their own calendar, which makes the Mayan Calendar a Primary Source which as all librarians know, is much more reliable than secondary sources written way after the fact.

Monday, January 31, 2011

World Face Chocolate Drought by 2014

We are facing a scary future without chocolate. But what these people do not realize or take into account is one little fact, one little word. 2012.

So what does it matter if we are facing a chocolate drought by 2014? There will be a lot of droughts by 2014!

It just means we need to double our chocolate supply in the bomb shelter. Maybe even triple it. Our chocolate will be worth its wait in gold. Especially since everyone needs chocolate to survive.



Source: http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/news/news-by-industry/cons-products/food/world-faces-chocolate-drought-in-2014/articleshow/7377852.cms