http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/40885541/ns/us_news-life/?gt1=43001
Once again, we have been remiss in updating the blog because we have been frantically stocking our bomb shelters. Thanks to dedicated follower Dog Mama, it has been brought to our attention that we may have even LESS time than we thought. And by less time, I mean we might only have until MAY! YIKES! Proponents of the May 2011 theory include Marie Exley, a Colorado Springs Native and Army veteran, who left her home to travel the country to spread the news. AND, EVEN WORSE!!!, when the day comes, if we are not swept into the glorious realm of Heaven, that means we HAVE NOT BEEN SAVED! But, luckily we will only have to endure the period of torment for 5 months, because October will be the End of Time.
Personally, I am still going with 12/21/12 as the end of the world for two reasons:
1. 12/21/12 is more fun to type than 5/21/11. Let's keep it simple people.
2. The Mayans were around long before the Christians (whose Bible wasn't even written by the people who lived with Jesus) and they actually did all the work to create their own calendar, which makes the Mayan Calendar a Primary Source which as all librarians know, is much more reliable than secondary sources written way after the fact.
Monday, February 7, 2011
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Election Night Boredom
Greetings Dear Readers, and Happy Election Day.
I am sitting here on my couch, watching the election coverage on 9 News, and I have come to a realization---2012 and the End of the World as we Know It has become so popular because we are all B-O-R-E-D. Our lives have become so boring, and predictable, and EASY, that people are FASCINATED by the idea that things might actually CHANGE. Sure, Obama promised Change in 2008, and there was change--Rye Bread and I got our Obama Bucks and we have changed our residence to a place where we can actually build a Bomb Shelter. The economy has changed to where there are many more MLIS graduates than there are jobs. And my beer taste has changed from Bud Light to Blue Moon. But--these are relatively mundane and are definitely not news-worthy. However, the change that is promised by the End of the World is much more provocative, as I will expand upon in the next paragraph.
When you are hungry, what do you do dear readers? I will tell you--you go to the refrigerator or the pantry and you get some food. If you are thirsty, you can turn on your faucet and receive water. If you need to go #2, you sit on your toilet and go, and then flush away your yesterday's lunch. Every day, day in and day out, our lives are so predictable and EASY. But what is going to happen when there is no more electricity and all the food in the fridge spoils? Or the water stops flowing and we can no longer flush the toilet or get a drink? What then dear readers? Well, then we will GET BACK TO NATURE! Living will not be so easy, so we will finally have to do something to survive. Hunting will no longer be a sport of rich white guys who just want a deer head for their man cave. Water gathering will be more difficult. And while wine may have helped me to get to these conclusions, wine will not be so easy to come by! And so, dear readers, I want you to prepare for the Great Adventure that is a short 2 years and 1 month and 12 days away. Please, start stockpiling wine, water, and freeze-dried food now if you have not already done so. The end is near, and we are about to have some interesting times.
I am sitting here on my couch, watching the election coverage on 9 News, and I have come to a realization---2012 and the End of the World as we Know It has become so popular because we are all B-O-R-E-D. Our lives have become so boring, and predictable, and EASY, that people are FASCINATED by the idea that things might actually CHANGE. Sure, Obama promised Change in 2008, and there was change--Rye Bread and I got our Obama Bucks and we have changed our residence to a place where we can actually build a Bomb Shelter. The economy has changed to where there are many more MLIS graduates than there are jobs. And my beer taste has changed from Bud Light to Blue Moon. But--these are relatively mundane and are definitely not news-worthy. However, the change that is promised by the End of the World is much more provocative, as I will expand upon in the next paragraph.
When you are hungry, what do you do dear readers? I will tell you--you go to the refrigerator or the pantry and you get some food. If you are thirsty, you can turn on your faucet and receive water. If you need to go #2, you sit on your toilet and go, and then flush away your yesterday's lunch. Every day, day in and day out, our lives are so predictable and EASY. But what is going to happen when there is no more electricity and all the food in the fridge spoils? Or the water stops flowing and we can no longer flush the toilet or get a drink? What then dear readers? Well, then we will GET BACK TO NATURE! Living will not be so easy, so we will finally have to do something to survive. Hunting will no longer be a sport of rich white guys who just want a deer head for their man cave. Water gathering will be more difficult. And while wine may have helped me to get to these conclusions, wine will not be so easy to come by! And so, dear readers, I want you to prepare for the Great Adventure that is a short 2 years and 1 month and 12 days away. Please, start stockpiling wine, water, and freeze-dried food now if you have not already done so. The end is near, and we are about to have some interesting times.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Breaking News About Breaking Dawn!!!
Greetings, dear readers! I wanted to share my good news with you--the second installment of the Twilight movie Breaking Dawn will be released on November 28, 2012--JUST IN TIME TO SEE IT BEFORE WE HAVE TO TAKE COVER IN THE BOMB SHELTER!!! Thank goodness, I was so worried that I would not be around to see the final installment of the Edward-Bella-Jacob love triangle! Also, if I haven't mentioned it before, the entire Twilight series is on the Bomb Shelter Reading List. That is all.
Friday, June 25, 2010
Musings on Censorship
This is a topic that has been on my mind lately, dear readers, and I wanted to share my musings with you all. Censorship. It all began when my Bomb Shelter Life Mate Rye-Bread and I were playing with his new cellular telephone, which has a speech-to-text feature, and we (being 12 year olds in Mid-20 year old bodies) decided to see what the phone would say when we said a bunch of swears into it. Much to our disbelief-the phone censored our text, or changed the words to non-swears! Now, I love swears just as much as the next Survivalist Librarian (yes, I will pay the extra dollar to have the swears in my iTunes songs) and I can't believe that I can not text someone "You are a chickenshit head and I hope your ass catches on fire you dumb bitch!" because the phone will say "You are a ######## bed and I hope your ### snatches on fire do ######." Now, I must say, that is not nearly as satisfying. (Although, for the humor-factor, I am a proponent of substituting non-swears for swears, because it makes me giggle. i.e. "Bob Saget!" and "PISS!" For more information, search You Tube for the Tourette's Guy.)
I am running into this problem in my work-life as well...as a Librarian I am supposed to shun censorship in all forms, but as a Prison Librarian, I am expected to censor certain things while fighting to let other things into the library. Case in point-I can not allow certain pages of the survivalist manual When Technology Fails: A Manual for Self-Reliance, Sustainability, and Surviving the Long Emergency by Matthew Stein, (a necessary text for anyone who is going to survive 2012) because they portray in detail how to make stone tools, fire, hunting implements, and alcohol and that might cause problems in the facility. (Even though these people have no access to flint, sharpened sticks, or a distiller.) However, I CAN let in various and sundry Urban Fiction books where every other word is fuck, bitch, ho, shit, etc. and that portray the "hood life" in all its glory. Now, I have to let those books in, but when a library patron says any of those words out loud, or forgets that they are in prison and not da hood, I tell him or her "LANGUAGE!" or "That is not appropriate for the library." Personally, it doesn't bother me when people pepper their speech with swears, which is probably because I spent so much of my pre-Survivalist Librarian life working in restaurants which are notorious bastions of potty-mouthedness.
Now, I am sure you are wondering, dear readers, what does this have to do with the Bomb Shelter??? Well, let me tell you. When the World as we know it comes to an end in 2012 and the only texts that survive the Apocalypse are the ones that we select, that is a giant responsibility. Luckily, you have Librarians running the Bomb Shelter Collection Development so you can be assured of a well-rounded, unbiased collection of titles. (As opposed to the Southern Baptist Bomb Shelter Collection Policy--"Evolution??? Not in MY Bomb Shelter!") And we will not censor the swears because although it will be a new world order run by yours truly-Pink Panda and myself- we will still let you cuss like sailors if you should choose to do so. Not to mention, the Mythbusters have PROVEN that swearing ups one's tolerance for pain, and since we won't have anesthesia (unless we can get an anesthesiologist on board in the next 2 years) that is looking like the best option should we need to preform emergency surgery or C-sections, or limb removals. So, loyal followers I encourage you to go forth, and fight the good fight, and don't censor anyone, bitch!
I am running into this problem in my work-life as well...as a Librarian I am supposed to shun censorship in all forms, but as a Prison Librarian, I am expected to censor certain things while fighting to let other things into the library. Case in point-I can not allow certain pages of the survivalist manual When Technology Fails: A Manual for Self-Reliance, Sustainability, and Surviving the Long Emergency by Matthew Stein, (a necessary text for anyone who is going to survive 2012) because they portray in detail how to make stone tools, fire, hunting implements, and alcohol and that might cause problems in the facility. (Even though these people have no access to flint, sharpened sticks, or a distiller.) However, I CAN let in various and sundry Urban Fiction books where every other word is fuck, bitch, ho, shit, etc. and that portray the "hood life" in all its glory. Now, I have to let those books in, but when a library patron says any of those words out loud, or forgets that they are in prison and not da hood, I tell him or her "LANGUAGE!" or "That is not appropriate for the library." Personally, it doesn't bother me when people pepper their speech with swears, which is probably because I spent so much of my pre-Survivalist Librarian life working in restaurants which are notorious bastions of potty-mouthedness.
Now, I am sure you are wondering, dear readers, what does this have to do with the Bomb Shelter??? Well, let me tell you. When the World as we know it comes to an end in 2012 and the only texts that survive the Apocalypse are the ones that we select, that is a giant responsibility. Luckily, you have Librarians running the Bomb Shelter Collection Development so you can be assured of a well-rounded, unbiased collection of titles. (As opposed to the Southern Baptist Bomb Shelter Collection Policy--"Evolution??? Not in MY Bomb Shelter!") And we will not censor the swears because although it will be a new world order run by yours truly-Pink Panda and myself- we will still let you cuss like sailors if you should choose to do so. Not to mention, the Mythbusters have PROVEN that swearing ups one's tolerance for pain, and since we won't have anesthesia (unless we can get an anesthesiologist on board in the next 2 years) that is looking like the best option should we need to preform emergency surgery or C-sections, or limb removals. So, loyal followers I encourage you to go forth, and fight the good fight, and don't censor anyone, bitch!
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Another bomb shelter must-read!
http://www.amazon.com/Complete-Idiots-Guide-2012/dp/1592578039
You know you've made it when there is a Complete Idiot's Guide to you...Congratulations 2012! You have successfully infiltrated popular culture.
Now, I have not read this book myself but upon discovering it was around, I immediately requested it through my local library, and I heartily encourage all of you, dear followers, to request or purchase this book as well. As of this posting, this book is #15 on the popularity list on Amazon, so it appears that many people are jumping on the bandwagon.
You know you've made it when there is a Complete Idiot's Guide to you...Congratulations 2012! You have successfully infiltrated popular culture.
Now, I have not read this book myself but upon discovering it was around, I immediately requested it through my local library, and I heartily encourage all of you, dear followers, to request or purchase this book as well. As of this posting, this book is #15 on the popularity list on Amazon, so it appears that many people are jumping on the bandwagon.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Tornados!
As you may have heard, Dear Readers, the Dreaded Tornado has returned to this great country of ours. Many buildings have been destroyed and lives lost. The other day my bomb shelter life mate and I had to gather our pet children and take cover in the basement because we were under a tornado warning. The sirens were going off and everything. It was definitely a time when I wish that the bomb shelter was a little bit closer. Luckily, Pink Panda was on alert to come get us out from under the stairs should our house collapse from the whirling vortex of wind.
This episode has led me to this suggestion for you dear followers of the blog-everyone should add a mini-bomb shelter to their houses just in case disaster should take us all unaware and cause us to not be able to get to the official bomb shelter. Make sure you stock it with water, a weather radio, blankets, food, and a couch because you will get tired of sitting on the floor. This mini-bomb shelter will also come in handy in this globally-warming environment that will just lead to more and more violent weather until the end comes in 2012.
This episode has led me to this suggestion for you dear followers of the blog-everyone should add a mini-bomb shelter to their houses just in case disaster should take us all unaware and cause us to not be able to get to the official bomb shelter. Make sure you stock it with water, a weather radio, blankets, food, and a couch because you will get tired of sitting on the floor. This mini-bomb shelter will also come in handy in this globally-warming environment that will just lead to more and more violent weather until the end comes in 2012.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
The newest bomb-shelter must-read!
Greetings gentle readers,
On Sunday I was asked to review a book for work and, while the information contained within it is not allowed in prison, it will definitelty give us law-abiding citizens a head start on preparing for the end of the world!!!!
The new required book for everyone's bomb shelter library is:
When Technology Fails (Revised & Expanded): A Manual for Self-Reliance, Sustainability, and Surviving the Long Emergency by Matthew Stein. ISBN 978-1933392455.
It can be purchased from Amazon.com for the low low price of $23.10. But really, can we put a price on preparedness???
On Sunday I was asked to review a book for work and, while the information contained within it is not allowed in prison, it will definitelty give us law-abiding citizens a head start on preparing for the end of the world!!!!
The new required book for everyone's bomb shelter library is:
When Technology Fails (Revised & Expanded): A Manual for Self-Reliance, Sustainability, and Surviving the Long Emergency by Matthew Stein. ISBN 978-1933392455.
It can be purchased from Amazon.com for the low low price of $23.10. But really, can we put a price on preparedness???
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