Good evening readers! It is your friendly survivalist librarian, coming to you from somewhere under ground, testing out the bomb shelter. Time is ticking away, so if you have not yet begun your preparations, loyal followers, I urge you to do so post haste!
I am writing to you tonight because there has been something weighing heavily on my mind ever since I have returned from a Survival Librarian Conference in Colorado's beautiful Western Slope. It is the issue of an emerging technology that has been taking the literary world by storm. That technology is the electronic book, or eBook. Now, dear readers, I am sure that you have heard about eBooks (unless you have been living in your bomb shelter for the past year) and you probably have some questions. Well, I am glad you have turned to us, because Pink Panda and I are reliable sources of information for everything library- and bomb shelter-related. Recently, eBooks have become very popular, with many different devices such as the Kindle from Amazon.com, the Kobo from Borders, and the nook from Barnes and Noble. I attended an informational presentation at the Conference, and here are my thoughts:
1. eBook readers will be very useful for bringing thousands of works of literature into the bomb shelter. I have heard that an eBook reader can hold 1,500 titles, and the battery can last for a month. The good thing about having the eBook reader in the bomb shelter is that there will be no WiFi signal to drain the battery, but the bad thing is that there will be no WiFi signal with which to buy more books once you have read all the books.
2. LCD screen readers (nook from Barnes and Noble) can be read in the dark because they have a backlit screen. This will be helpful for those times where we need to conserve the bomb shelter energy, or when our bomb shelter lifemates are trying to sleep, but we just can't put down the book we are reading because it is so engrossing.
3. The font size on eBook readers can be enlarged, which is good in case our glasses break, like that guy on the Twilight Zone who just wanted to be the only guy in the world so he could read whenever he wanted, but then he broke his glasses so he couldn't see the words on the pages.
Despite all these pros for eBook readers, I want to caution you loyal followers, that this can not be the sole means of reading materials with which you stock your bomb shelter. Obviously, eBook readers run on rechargable batteries, but those batteries eventually run down so you will need some sort of electrical generator or solar panel to recharge it. And you might need that energy for other things, like cooking food. Also, if you depend on your local public library to obtain your eBooks, you should know that there are limits on how long the file can be accessed. If it takes you longer than 21 days to get to the end of World Without Us, you will be out of luck because the library website will probably be pulverized by the world ending. Along those same lines, beware of magnetic waves rendering your eBook reader useless if it is not stored properly.
Personally, in our Bomb Shelter I will rely heavily on building a print collection of reading material, because print is reliable, comforting, familiar and not prone to electronic mishaps. Also, depending on how the end of the world comes about, there is no guarantee that your eBook reader will even work again once we can re-emerge. Print books are also multi-functional, as they can be used for kindling and toilet paper, if the situation ever becomes that dire. I am interested to see what your plans are, dedicated followers. Will you be a purist with only print materials, a modern technologist with only eBooks, or a combination of the two?
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
What to Wear to the End of the World
Greetings Dear Readers,
It's no surprise that I do things mainly for the cute outfits. Snowboarding, working out, running, tennis...I probably wouldn't do them if I didn't get to buy a new outfit to "motivate" me. (Ask my Bomb Shelter Life Mate Rye-Bread. He always calls me out on it. To which I reply- :-P) Now it has come to my attention that World Renowned Survivalist (and HOTT Brit) Bear Grylls has a website that sells Survival Clothing! Here is the link:
http://www.us.beargryllsstore.com/
Our loyal followers know that, as librarians, Pink Panda and I firmly believe in presenting you with reliable resources. For survival, it doesn't get more reliable than Bear Grylls. In addition to having climbed Mt. Everest at age TWENTY THREE, he has served in the UK Special Forces and has his own TV show. AND he has a British accent, which makes EVERYTHING he says the truth. Bear Grylls' store also has children's survival clothes, which will come in handy as we are re-populating the Earth. So go, fellow survivalists, and stock up on survival clothing. Since we do not have fur, feathers, or scales, we will need all the help we can get!
It's no surprise that I do things mainly for the cute outfits. Snowboarding, working out, running, tennis...I probably wouldn't do them if I didn't get to buy a new outfit to "motivate" me. (Ask my Bomb Shelter Life Mate Rye-Bread. He always calls me out on it. To which I reply- :-P) Now it has come to my attention that World Renowned Survivalist (and HOTT Brit) Bear Grylls has a website that sells Survival Clothing! Here is the link:
http://www.us.beargryllsstore.com/
Our loyal followers know that, as librarians, Pink Panda and I firmly believe in presenting you with reliable resources. For survival, it doesn't get more reliable than Bear Grylls. In addition to having climbed Mt. Everest at age TWENTY THREE, he has served in the UK Special Forces and has his own TV show. AND he has a British accent, which makes EVERYTHING he says the truth. Bear Grylls' store also has children's survival clothes, which will come in handy as we are re-populating the Earth. So go, fellow survivalists, and stock up on survival clothing. Since we do not have fur, feathers, or scales, we will need all the help we can get!
Monday, February 14, 2011
Bart's Comet
Hello again, dear followers. As you may know, I am a huge fan of the TV show The Simpsons. I believe it is a witty social commentary that rips its plots directly from the headlines. Case in point--tonight's episode was "Bart's Comet," an episode where Bart discovers a comet that turns out to be headed RIGHT TOWARDS SPRINGFIELD! Naturally, mass panic ensues with all the Springfieldians trying to find shelter to survive the impact. Nobody planned ahead except for the Simpson family's resourceful neighbor Flanders, who also was kind enough to include enough supplies for the Simpson family to join his in the bomb shelter. Unfortunately, the entire town comes knocking on the door and the Super Christian Flanders ends up surrendering his place in the bomb shelter for the greater good of his neighbors. Luckily, the comet is thwarted by the massive layer of pollution above Springfield and nobody ends up being incinerated.
It is very interesting that this episode came out in 1995--SIXTEEN years ago--but its messages are timeless. You should build your bomb shelter with extra space and supplies because undoubtedly, there will be some unprepared neighbors who will want to mooch off of your preparedness. Of course, to avoid that hassle, DON'T TELL YOUR NEIGHBORS WHERE YOUR BOMB SHELTER IS LOCATED. The second point is that the End of the World as we Know It will come from an asteroid. Thanks to loyal follower Dog Mama for sharing this story:
http://specials.msn.com/A-List/Lifestyle/Will-asteroid-hit-Earth.aspx?cp-documentid=27611566
Now, the above article is all about the results for a keyword search "Will asteroid hit Earth," the answer is (as we all know) a resounding YES! The 2,390,000 results don't lie. In closing, gentle followers, I implore you to visit the website posted by Pink Panda in the previous post and prepare for the coming destruction via wayward heavenly body.
It is very interesting that this episode came out in 1995--SIXTEEN years ago--but its messages are timeless. You should build your bomb shelter with extra space and supplies because undoubtedly, there will be some unprepared neighbors who will want to mooch off of your preparedness. Of course, to avoid that hassle, DON'T TELL YOUR NEIGHBORS WHERE YOUR BOMB SHELTER IS LOCATED. The second point is that the End of the World as we Know It will come from an asteroid. Thanks to loyal follower Dog Mama for sharing this story:
http://specials.msn.com/A-List/Lifestyle/Will-asteroid-hit-Earth.aspx?cp-documentid=27611566
Now, the above article is all about the results for a keyword search "Will asteroid hit Earth," the answer is (as we all know) a resounding YES! The 2,390,000 results don't lie. In closing, gentle followers, I implore you to visit the website posted by Pink Panda in the previous post and prepare for the coming destruction via wayward heavenly body.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Bristol Palin-Harbinger of the Apocalypse?
Greetings Dear Readers,
While watching Chelsea Lately tonight, I was informed that Bristol Palin has a memoir in the works. I was intrigued to find out that Palin is only 20 years old. Now, in my experience, memoirs are written by people who have lived long, illustrious lives and have had many accomplishments. Since Bristol Palin has done neither of those things, it got me to wondering why in the world she would need to write a memoir. Then-it dawned on me! SHE NEEDED TO WRITE A MEMOIR BECAUSE THE WORLD IS ENDING!!!
Now, you might be thinking, "Happy Yellow Jeep Girl, do not be a hater on Bristol Palin, she has had many accomplishments in life including losing on Dancing with the Stars, having a teen pregnancy and subsequent child out of wedlock, and having a mom who completed half a term as Governor of Alaska! She is not just trying to capitalize on her fame before it is too late!" For Exhibit B, I give you Justin Bieber. Here is another extremely young person (12 years old, last time I looked at him) who has a memoir in bookstores. Again, what has Justin Bieber accomplished, besides making it popular to blow dry your hair straight forward into your eyes and singing songs that consist of the lyrics "Baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby!" My educated guess is that he is selling his "life story" to help with the provisioning of his bomb shelter, since he has not been on this Earth long enough to save up much money.
Loyal followers, these two celebrity teenage memoirs are not isolated incidents!!! According to the website The Huffington Post (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/08/04/justin-biebers-memoir-and_n_669215.html#slide_image) there are at least NINE OTHER MEMOIRS BY PEOPLE UNDER 25!!! Coincidence? I think not!
While watching Chelsea Lately tonight, I was informed that Bristol Palin has a memoir in the works. I was intrigued to find out that Palin is only 20 years old. Now, in my experience, memoirs are written by people who have lived long, illustrious lives and have had many accomplishments. Since Bristol Palin has done neither of those things, it got me to wondering why in the world she would need to write a memoir. Then-it dawned on me! SHE NEEDED TO WRITE A MEMOIR BECAUSE THE WORLD IS ENDING!!!
Now, you might be thinking, "Happy Yellow Jeep Girl, do not be a hater on Bristol Palin, she has had many accomplishments in life including losing on Dancing with the Stars, having a teen pregnancy and subsequent child out of wedlock, and having a mom who completed half a term as Governor of Alaska! She is not just trying to capitalize on her fame before it is too late!" For Exhibit B, I give you Justin Bieber. Here is another extremely young person (12 years old, last time I looked at him) who has a memoir in bookstores. Again, what has Justin Bieber accomplished, besides making it popular to blow dry your hair straight forward into your eyes and singing songs that consist of the lyrics "Baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby!" My educated guess is that he is selling his "life story" to help with the provisioning of his bomb shelter, since he has not been on this Earth long enough to save up much money.
Loyal followers, these two celebrity teenage memoirs are not isolated incidents!!! According to the website The Huffington Post (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/08/04/justin-biebers-memoir-and_n_669215.html#slide_image) there are at least NINE OTHER MEMOIRS BY PEOPLE UNDER 25!!! Coincidence? I think not!
Monday, February 7, 2011
End of the world in 2011 instead? HMMMMM!!!
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/40885541/ns/us_news-life/?gt1=43001
Once again, we have been remiss in updating the blog because we have been frantically stocking our bomb shelters. Thanks to dedicated follower Dog Mama, it has been brought to our attention that we may have even LESS time than we thought. And by less time, I mean we might only have until MAY! YIKES! Proponents of the May 2011 theory include Marie Exley, a Colorado Springs Native and Army veteran, who left her home to travel the country to spread the news. AND, EVEN WORSE!!!, when the day comes, if we are not swept into the glorious realm of Heaven, that means we HAVE NOT BEEN SAVED! But, luckily we will only have to endure the period of torment for 5 months, because October will be the End of Time.
Personally, I am still going with 12/21/12 as the end of the world for two reasons:
1. 12/21/12 is more fun to type than 5/21/11. Let's keep it simple people.
2. The Mayans were around long before the Christians (whose Bible wasn't even written by the people who lived with Jesus) and they actually did all the work to create their own calendar, which makes the Mayan Calendar a Primary Source which as all librarians know, is much more reliable than secondary sources written way after the fact.
Once again, we have been remiss in updating the blog because we have been frantically stocking our bomb shelters. Thanks to dedicated follower Dog Mama, it has been brought to our attention that we may have even LESS time than we thought. And by less time, I mean we might only have until MAY! YIKES! Proponents of the May 2011 theory include Marie Exley, a Colorado Springs Native and Army veteran, who left her home to travel the country to spread the news. AND, EVEN WORSE!!!, when the day comes, if we are not swept into the glorious realm of Heaven, that means we HAVE NOT BEEN SAVED! But, luckily we will only have to endure the period of torment for 5 months, because October will be the End of Time.
Personally, I am still going with 12/21/12 as the end of the world for two reasons:
1. 12/21/12 is more fun to type than 5/21/11. Let's keep it simple people.
2. The Mayans were around long before the Christians (whose Bible wasn't even written by the people who lived with Jesus) and they actually did all the work to create their own calendar, which makes the Mayan Calendar a Primary Source which as all librarians know, is much more reliable than secondary sources written way after the fact.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Election Night Boredom
Greetings Dear Readers, and Happy Election Day.
I am sitting here on my couch, watching the election coverage on 9 News, and I have come to a realization---2012 and the End of the World as we Know It has become so popular because we are all B-O-R-E-D. Our lives have become so boring, and predictable, and EASY, that people are FASCINATED by the idea that things might actually CHANGE. Sure, Obama promised Change in 2008, and there was change--Rye Bread and I got our Obama Bucks and we have changed our residence to a place where we can actually build a Bomb Shelter. The economy has changed to where there are many more MLIS graduates than there are jobs. And my beer taste has changed from Bud Light to Blue Moon. But--these are relatively mundane and are definitely not news-worthy. However, the change that is promised by the End of the World is much more provocative, as I will expand upon in the next paragraph.
When you are hungry, what do you do dear readers? I will tell you--you go to the refrigerator or the pantry and you get some food. If you are thirsty, you can turn on your faucet and receive water. If you need to go #2, you sit on your toilet and go, and then flush away your yesterday's lunch. Every day, day in and day out, our lives are so predictable and EASY. But what is going to happen when there is no more electricity and all the food in the fridge spoils? Or the water stops flowing and we can no longer flush the toilet or get a drink? What then dear readers? Well, then we will GET BACK TO NATURE! Living will not be so easy, so we will finally have to do something to survive. Hunting will no longer be a sport of rich white guys who just want a deer head for their man cave. Water gathering will be more difficult. And while wine may have helped me to get to these conclusions, wine will not be so easy to come by! And so, dear readers, I want you to prepare for the Great Adventure that is a short 2 years and 1 month and 12 days away. Please, start stockpiling wine, water, and freeze-dried food now if you have not already done so. The end is near, and we are about to have some interesting times.
I am sitting here on my couch, watching the election coverage on 9 News, and I have come to a realization---2012 and the End of the World as we Know It has become so popular because we are all B-O-R-E-D. Our lives have become so boring, and predictable, and EASY, that people are FASCINATED by the idea that things might actually CHANGE. Sure, Obama promised Change in 2008, and there was change--Rye Bread and I got our Obama Bucks and we have changed our residence to a place where we can actually build a Bomb Shelter. The economy has changed to where there are many more MLIS graduates than there are jobs. And my beer taste has changed from Bud Light to Blue Moon. But--these are relatively mundane and are definitely not news-worthy. However, the change that is promised by the End of the World is much more provocative, as I will expand upon in the next paragraph.
When you are hungry, what do you do dear readers? I will tell you--you go to the refrigerator or the pantry and you get some food. If you are thirsty, you can turn on your faucet and receive water. If you need to go #2, you sit on your toilet and go, and then flush away your yesterday's lunch. Every day, day in and day out, our lives are so predictable and EASY. But what is going to happen when there is no more electricity and all the food in the fridge spoils? Or the water stops flowing and we can no longer flush the toilet or get a drink? What then dear readers? Well, then we will GET BACK TO NATURE! Living will not be so easy, so we will finally have to do something to survive. Hunting will no longer be a sport of rich white guys who just want a deer head for their man cave. Water gathering will be more difficult. And while wine may have helped me to get to these conclusions, wine will not be so easy to come by! And so, dear readers, I want you to prepare for the Great Adventure that is a short 2 years and 1 month and 12 days away. Please, start stockpiling wine, water, and freeze-dried food now if you have not already done so. The end is near, and we are about to have some interesting times.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Breaking News About Breaking Dawn!!!
Greetings, dear readers! I wanted to share my good news with you--the second installment of the Twilight movie Breaking Dawn will be released on November 28, 2012--JUST IN TIME TO SEE IT BEFORE WE HAVE TO TAKE COVER IN THE BOMB SHELTER!!! Thank goodness, I was so worried that I would not be around to see the final installment of the Edward-Bella-Jacob love triangle! Also, if I haven't mentioned it before, the entire Twilight series is on the Bomb Shelter Reading List. That is all.
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